The recent catastrophic terrorist attacks in Sri Lanka have had unexpected impact on our own life trajectories.
We left Sri Lanka a couple of days before the attacks occurred, for a trip to the U.S. to visit family, and watched the news reports of suicide bombers at three churches and three large hotels in Colombo, with shock, sadness and horror.
Within days, the Sri Lankan news media reported sweeping actions taken by the military after the attack, including house to house searches in some regions, which revealed an extensive network of ISIS collaborators, multiple caches of weapons and some unexploded bombs, including at the capital’s airport.
Having a sense of darker chapters in Sri Lanka’s history, we began to fear beyond the already tragic situation, there would likely be waves of retaliation against innocent Sri Lankan Muslims. Sadly our fears were soon confirmed, as accounts started to surface about mobs of Buddhists seeking revenge.
Quite significantly, what started to emerge was a picture of total failure of governance, most specifically the inability of the President and the Prime Minister to work together for the good of the nation.
This is not an abstract issue for me (Ben), as my work deals directly with the government and the military. There is no telling how things might evolve and so we adopt a ‘wait and see’ attitude, while getting as much information as we can about the situation on the ground, from friends and colleagues.
The first week of our 6-week U.S. family visit, becomes focused on coming to terms with the attack and the possible implications of the attack on Ben’s work.
As we sit in the kitchen having breakfast in L.A. we read through messages from friends all over the globe which are filled with loving concern about Sri Lanka, its people (and also about what it might mean for us personally.)
There are a lot of questions to field…
Do we think we will go back to Sri Lanka? (Not sure, not immediately, but at any rate we only bought one way tickets, as always). Do we know the places hit by ISIS? (Yes, one of the hotels in Colombo, was a place we frequented often.
Is it true that the government had been alerted and did nothing? (Tragically, yes). How long will it take for things to get back to normal? (No idea). What are our plans going forward? (No idea). Many more questions than we have answers for…
As we spend time with family members, things are eerily normal in L.A. My mom has a new dog. My sister Chantal has a new job. My sister Sophie is making plans to move to Oregon. My son Ezra, who lives in Portland, but met us in L.A. is excited about how his job is evolving. It is rather surreal for us, balancing the juxtaposed world of normalcy here and the chaos of what is happening in Sri Lanka.
We seek and manage to stay calm and “in the present moment” ~ Our yoga practice, applied palpably to dealing with the unfolding Sri Lankan crisis.
(She thinks we should move to L.A. ~ “Eets okay wiz me eef you move in. Ze room is ready for you children.”)
Ezra, on the other hand, is doing a valiant job trying to convince us that we should consider moving to Portland, Oregon, where he lives.
And the new puppy Cookie, does what pets do best, providing lots of affection and distraction.
My mom takes us shopping at the local Cannabis store where she buys CBD for her arthritis. It sure looks and feels like an Apple store. Slick, brightly lit, great presentation. There is cannabis in every form, from buds, to joints, to vapes, to CBD-laden dog treats. Welcome to California!
~~~
The second leg of our trip takes us to Northern California, first to San Francisco, then to Grass Valley, to visit Peta’s (oldest) son Josh and his lovely girlfriend Ana.
As we continue to read about innocent lives lost in Sri Lanka and the aftermath of retaliation, Peta starts to have some PTSD like symptoms: trouble sleeping, headaches, exhaustion. We use the weekend to “lie low”, and pause from processing about Sri Lanka and wondering how to proceed with our lives there. We spend a good amount of time walking around the neighbourhood enjoying the beautiful San Franciscan architecture and street art. We have pre booked tickets for a rare Monet retrospective exhibit, but we feel too drained. We just need to be still. No Ubers, no crowds… Just be.
After San Francisco we drive for 2 hours until we get to Josh and Ana’s nature filled paradise in Grass Valley. Their house is on 10 acres of forested land and they have an epic view from their large deck, over the valley for miles. Just what we need. So grateful to have this respite with these two.
~~~
The third and final leg of our U.S trip, is in Chicago.
In addition to having time with the Chicago branch of the family, I (Ben) now have a bunch of critically important meetings scheduled with my primary client, a Chicago based aerospace and defense company.
The client is very concerned that the attack in Sri Lanka will engender a period of more in country chaos and will directly impact my work there. There is a need for an immediate rethink of our business development activities. They no longer feel that Sri Lanka is a good investment for them for the foreseeable future. The location of my future business development focus is now ‘up in the air.’
Peta and I will have to reinvent ourselves ~ our lives, our geography, completely, and immediately. A rather unexpected turn of events! This will require a focused effort to come up with a viable professional and personal go forward strategy, very quickly. We love our little paradise in Sri Lanka ~ it has been a sanctuary in nature for us for the past almost 3 years now. It’s hard to think that this chapter may be coming to a close, so suddenly.
Those who know me well, know that I always have a plan B, and often a plan C, to navigate life’s inherent unpredictability. But ISIS strikes? Well that’s just so far out of the predictability range that there is no viable plan B ready to be set into motion at the flick of a switch.
In between delightful stress-relieving family get togethers, Peta and I have continuous marathon discussions about our immediate future.
In addition, there is a torrent of hypotheticals by my client. The possible options of interest to them, are as widespread and eclectic as one could imagine. From defense work in Turkey, to civil aviation in Croatia, to supply chain management in Mexico, to growing an existing program in Hawaii.
Each day radically swings left, right and center, as we try to digest the professional options and see if they can also work out for us on a personal level. For instance, once we find out that working in Europe or Hawaii would need to happen on our current Sri Lankan (and just reduced) salary, these options are taken off the table by us.
After multiple meetings and hours of research work, we are no further ahead.
The clock is ticking… and before the end of the month (i.e. about two weeks time) we need to have made a decision as to our imminent, still to be determined home base. Being in the U.S. on my current salary is absolutely not viable. We find ourselves in a quandary. It is a bit unsettling. We need a plan.
Our sons keep us ‘sane’ during this period of upheaval. They have seen us go through lots of changes over the years with regards to where we live and what we do, so it’s pretty hard to phase them… Every night or two, we update them on the various options which are surfacing and we all have quite a few good laughs about those, and the enormity of the decisions ahead ~ within such a compressed time line.
We are determined to not let the work stuff, the monumental life decisions, get in the way of the exceptional quality time we are having with the fam. Each get together is a joy and we are having a great time!
Loving every minute of this time together… It’s not easy for me (Peta), living so far from my kids. However, our reunions are always super special and we all try to maximize our time together.
We visit Adam at his urban farming business Closed Loop Farms. He started growing and selling micro greens about two years ago. He had a few shelves of trays of greens growing in his apartment. He now has about 100 customers (Chicago high end restaurants) and a dozen team mates. Fascinating to have seen this operation grow from scratch, into a viable and profitable business in such a short time. Well done Ad!
Such a thrill that Adam has succeeded in creating a niche for himself as an urban farmer in Chicago. Business, farming, environmental impact, organic food, sustainability and passion! Great combo.
Below, huge containers of rich compost delivered for the summer veg and edible flower season.
Time is not on our side. By June 1st, our income will immediately drop by a third and our geography will have to change, as we for sure cannot ‘keep the wheels on’, by staying in Chicago for the summer, tempting as that certainly is. (We search for home exchanges for the first two weeks of June to buy ourselves some time, but to no avail, and the Airbnb is already fully booked.)
We know that ‘the universe will somehow deliver a solution.’ (Of course I am not complacent, and I am ‘working it’. So, no need to panic ~ as things always have a way of working out. We don’t operate from a place of fear. We never have.
And… on cue… with uncanny timing, the universe delivers!!
With less than two weeks to go before our scheduled departure date, to who knows where, something totally unexpected happens.
Peta receives a message from a former work acquaintance of ours from years back. When we lived in Nicaragua and built bamboo low cost housing for indigenous populations, we almost did a joint venture with a Hawaiian-based business focused on luxury bamboo homes. We have not been in touch for years ~ until recently, when her son was visiting Sri Lanka and had connected with Peta for some in country suggestions, about a month before the attack.
This long-forgotten former colleague expresses an urgent need. Her question for Peta: Would Ben possibly be interested in returning to the world of bamboo?
This company’s manufacturing activities are based in S.E.Asia and for a number of reasons, they have a need to move their current bamboo housing factory. This is a job for which they need to quickly find someone with familiarity with bamboo AND experience managing complex industrial operations. Ideally someone with start up experience. Ideally someone able to parachute in ‘foreign’ territory, hitting the ground running, to help orchestrate the move. And this job, she shares with self awareness of how ludicrous this is, needs to start … Well, right away!
Fast forward to today: We are sitting on a plane, in Doha, Qatar, on our way to Southeast Asia, to our new home base….. in Viet Nam!
The universe delivered. Must be good karma.
From aerospace and defense business development…
… to manufacturing management of high end bamboo houses.
Yup, can do.
A new adventure awaits us!!
Ben and Peta, this was like reading a suspense filled book and I soooo wanted to skip to the end, but I held on. You guys are truly amazing and I am so happy that things are working out. I thought of you immediately after the attacks, but because of Peta’s Instagram feed, I knew you were out of the country. Still, so many memories and friends that stole your hearts. Sad for you both.
I am somewhat grateful (that sounds selfish) that you waited until your circumstances were resolved before you posted an update. I could not have handled the suspense! I am happy that the universe provided answers and cannot imagine what you have been going through.
BTW, I was rooting for Croatia, but Viet Nam sounds like a great place to begin a new adventure. Best of luck and thanks for the update.
Suzanne it was very much a suspense filled few weeks for us, and I wanted to “skip to the end” as well, with a focus focus on the “skip” part 🙂 .
I was rooting for Croatia too as it’s a country we have not been to yet ~ but that was before I knew Vietnam was an option from a business point of view. We even had a home exchange set up in Croatia! Vietnam however, is a country we have lived in and always love going back to for more time.
Peta
What a story! I’ve admired you guys for a long time, even though I’m not a regular reader. An awful situation in Sri Lanka but it was beautiful to see you guys back with your family in the States.
I know you guys will find your new way because you’re smart and strong people.
At least it does make for quite the story! The timing of our trip to visit family could not have been better. Thanks Dan.
Peta
As Suzanne said above, this read like a suspense novel! And a lovely family saga; it was so great to read about the many family connections you were able to enjoy over your time in the U.S. I admire your patience and calm, and it sure seems to have worked out pretty well! I remember your love for Hoi An (and I’m sure, other parts of Vietnam), so I hope your parachuting in there will have a soft landing. Phew! Best of luck as you make this new life transition. I do hope you’ll be able to stop back in Sri Lanka at some point to say proper goodbyes to your sweet home and many local friends.
Lex, good memory. We do both love Vietnam and after having lived in Hoi An twice now (once for about 3 months, and then more recently before we made Sri Lanka our home base, for a month)… but we are always eager for more extended time there!
We fully intend to go back to Sri Lanka. Bens’ work is ongoing there, albeit moving at a very slow pace. We will keep our house there for now, as we have home exchangers coming off and on until January. It also gives Nilu a continued income for her family.
Thanks for the good wishes Lex.
Peta
It’s truly amazing how the universe provides and lays a path before us. I call it redefining. In our case a constant story of redefining retirement. It your case, redefining your next chapter.
My big question is what will you do with your house in Sri Lanka?
I’m not quite sure how to phrase this, but …. I found myself completely relating to Peta’s somewhat delayed reaction to the bombings and I likened it to the 2016 election here in the US. A time that took me to a dark place, unable to get out of bed let alone leave the house. And, with so much chaos in the US over the past 2 years, it’s hard to think of the US as a place of “normalcy” when in comparison to the tragic story of Sri Lanka, because everyday in the US feels as if we’re under siege. It’s hard, at times, to hold on to the good things in life while filtering out the ugly. We are “redefining” life in the US.
Best wishes for you both as you begin this bittersweet new chapter.
Patti, we are not “abandoning” Sri Lanka, but adding a new geographic home base and will need to be back for Ben’s business. We will keep our home in Sri Lanka, for now, as it is booked for home exchangers in August and at the end of the year. It also provides Nilu with income for her family.
Totally relate to your feelings re the U.S. and would certainly agree that things are in utter chaos and “under siege” there. Dark times indeed. Our observation while there was that many people have “switched off” from whats going on, as it is just too difficult to cope otherwise.
Thank you for the good wishes.
Peta
WOWZA! I’m exhausted, enthralled, and delighted from reading this latest Ben & Peta Fly Again (literally and figuratively). Even if I didn’t know where you would land I DID know you would set your wheels down safely and securely. Change is what you both do best and it was time.
I believe that tragedy is always the greatest impetus for change. It takes an open mind and heart to embrace the change rather than resist it. BRAVO! Looking forward to your next chapter.
Haha great reaction… “exhausted, enthralled, delighted”. We do both do well with change, which is a good thing, as this is certainly a big change. Yes to having an “open mind and heart.”
Thank you Judy! We are looking forward to it too!
Peta
I was so happy to see notification in my inbox of your post as we’ve been wondering how you’re faring. It is wonderful to read about your loving family connections that have given you strength during this very challenging time. Ben, your mother looks totally charming and I laughed out loud about the French accent telling you it’s OK to move in with her.
I admire your calm and positive outlook, and I’m so glad that the universe delivered.You guys really are the gurus of reinvention. I know how much you like Vietnam and particularly Hoi An, so while the whole situation is rather bittersweet, this seems to be a good place to land for your next chapter. I’m hoping that with the passage of time, the horrible events in Sri Lanka will become less haunting for you and the memories of your beautiful home and great experiences there will dominate.
Thanks for the beautifully written update and all the best to both of you.
Thank you Caroline, it is so good to hear from you. The timing of being with family during this challenging time, could not have been better.
“Gurus of reinvention”.. we’ll take that! 🙂 Viet Nam is definitely a good place for us to land and begin another chapter of our ever evolving nomadic life. The universe delivered well.
Thanks for the compliments on the writing as this was not an easy post to write, and for the good wishes of support.
xoxo
Peta
Great that the universe delivered! Safety and fun times to you both!
Thank you Susan.
You two are truly amazing! Why am I not surprised that things worked out? And, between the two of you, four amazing young men have emerged. I am so impressed. If our children become happy, contributing members of society, we have done our jobs as parents! All the best of luck in your future endeavours. I guess the next post will come from Viet Nam. xo
Thank you Darlene.
Yes, four amazing young men!! They are my greatest “achievement” and am very proud of them, in case you couldn’t tell… 🙂 All that parenting time and effort and love, paid off.
Peta
Good to hear how you are getting on and that the universe has delivered! All good wishes for the new venture.
Thanks so much Anabel.
I cannot believe you guys. Then again. I so can! Back to Vietnam is partly like coming home for you both so I expect a walk in the park in regards to settling in 😉
So happy a new chapter is waiting to be written you beauties. You both excel at trusting life and living in the present moment.. there where magic happens. Miss you both. Love you lots.
Oh and I loved Ben’s impression of his mum’s accent. Eets okay wiz me… 😂 I laughed so hard!
Hahaha good impression huh?!!
Haha Kris you know us well… yup Viet Nam should be a pretty easy transition. Ben always says he wants more time there! So here it is…
So true this: trusting life and living in the present moment = where the magic happens.
Miss and love you guys too. Come and visit in Viet Nam!
xoxo
P
What an amazing adventure you are on. That the universe graced you with the perfect opportunity at just the right time (well, maybe a few days earlier would have helped your stress level 🙂 ) is somehow not surprising. I have to say that the bamboo house looks way more intriguing, interesting, and enchanting than the airplane.
Janis, the timing was absolutely amazing. Hard to believe! Had it come too much earlier it’s possible Ben might have turned the offer down, as he certainly was not anticipating a return to bamboo. Definitely an unexpected twist. Thankfully it all worked out!
Totally agree that bamboo is ( to me at any rate) way more interesting than aerospace and defense. 🙂
Peta
Wow, talk about a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. Isn’t it wonderful when your adult children have found their way and are living fulfilling lives while following their dreams. So pleased to know that you are both also now onto the next adventure, with everything having fallen into place so beautifully.
Roller coaster indeed!
Yes, truly wonderful that all our sons have as you say “ found their way and living fulfilling lives”. Am very proud of them and their achievements, but mostly the amazing human beings they all are.
Things seem to find a way of working out, even when it initially seems that there is no logical solution!
Peta
Wow, Peta and Ben. What a saga! This is the first time I read your blog post out loud to Mark. We’ve been in similar situations (luckily, not for the same reasons), where we needed to make a life-altering decision that involved a different lifestyle, country, or place to “settle”. While it might seem easy to the outside world for us – nomads – to go with the flow and trust we will land on our feet, we are still human beings, and responsible ones, which comes with the necessary stress and worries.
I’m so glad something worked out at the right time. What a coincidence indeed about the job for Ben. I love how you both trust fate. I sometimes try that as well, but the last years, nothing ever happens. 🙂 Or, something might have happened behind the scenes and I don’t know it yet. Or, our situation wasn’t dire enough to have fate rescue us. That being said, we have been in situations where events were “meant to be” in a distant past.
Vietnam. Quite fortuitous, since you guys like that country a lot. Will it be anywhere near Hoi An? Will you be able to pick up your things back in Sri Lanka? What will happen to your little paradise there? You know, for some reason I envisioned visiting you there one day… It will have to happen elsewhere!
Wishing you a smooth and successful transition!
Liesbet yes! “What a saga!” Yes, these life altering decisions are monumental and you really hit the nail on the head with your comments about a nomadic lifestyle. As nomads yourselves, you really do get it.
I think its probably an accurate assessment to say that for us its a combination of “fate” ( i.e the universe provides) and conscious choices coupled with knowing what we really want and constantly refining and reshaping as needed. This one however, was “one for the books!”
Very fortuitous that we will return to Viet Nam again for a new extended chapter there.
We will keep our little nest in the jungle in Sri Lanka for now. We will be back and we do have home exchangers coming in August and again at the end of the year. I hoped you would visit us there too… and just to mention, our house is available should you want to use it (Sept to Oct)! Or, come to Viet Nam 🙂
Thank you Liesbet.
Peta
Everyone has already said what I would have…WOW! WowZa! Roller Coaster, Suspense Novel! All I really want you to know is that we are in San Fran and have plenty of room for you! If you find yourselves back here on your journeys to the Far East, please don’t hesitate to contact me!
So happy to know you are safe! And Happy! Love, Debbie and Reed
Hi Debbie! Oh we would have loved to see you both in SF! Were you there in April?
Rollercoaster, suspense ~ we got it all!
Much love to you both
xoxo
P
Like so many others, I have been anticipating this post for some time. Your post is a page turner that had me on the edge of my seat. It is no surprise to me that the answer arrived, albeit after a gruelling time of grief and ongoing discussion and brainstorming.
I am sad to say goodbye to your paradise in Sri Lanka. What a joy it was to watch you transform it. Do you know what will happen to it now?
Looking forward very much to future instalments from Vietnam!
Thanks Sue. We had to wait till the whole “saga” as Liesbet coined it, played out of course, before writing about it.
I am sad to say goodbye to our little paradise in Sri Lanka too ~ as a home base it has been exceptional. We will be back! We will keep the house for the time being, as we have home exchangers coming off and on till January, and we would like to keep our commitments. And as well, it provides Nilu with income for her family.
xoxo
Peta
Wow! OMG wow! What you’ve been through! The family time sounds like it was both necessary and precious, and the new life in Viet Nam sounds exciting and exactly right. So sad that you have to leave behind your lovely home in Sri Lanka, but knowing you two you’ll create something just as wonderful in your new location in no time. I am not remotely surprised that the universe delivered!
Alison
Alison, the timing with the family was perfect and most helpful.
Am sad to leave our little jungle paradise in Sri Lanka, yet we will be back, albeit with a new home base in Viet Nam. Ben Still has work there, even though his work is currently in ‘frozen’ mode. Always good lessons in attachment for me. Letting go and moving forward. Thank you for the vote of confidence in us! 🙂
Peta
I don’t understand committing violence against innocent people, and I’m especially stunned when I read that Buddhists initiate violent actions. Maybe I expect too much, and can’t separate reality from fantasy. I’m not sure why this is so, since people prove over and over how awful they can be.
Still, I’m glad you and your extended family are doing well, and that you have prospects in Vietnam. Hoping that the turmoil in Sri Lanka ends quickly and that peaceful overtures between all players result in everyone in the country benefiting.
Be well, Peta and Ben.
Sharon, I don’t understand violence against innocent people either! People, and countries always seem to want revenge and retaliation and then there is a vicious cycle of violence. One only needs to look to Myanmar to see that Buddhists are sadly no different to anyone else in this regard. They do not seem to hold to true Buddhist values anymore. In Sri Lanka the people we found to be particularly welcoming and friendly were always the Muslims, I wish I could say the same for the Buddhists there, but sadly, I cannot.
Glad too that we have an opportunity to “ keep the wheels on” in Viet Nam and hoping for peace and better days for Sri Lanka.
Peta
I’ve thought of you two often in the last few weeks and know that your hearts must ache for your friends, the people of Sri Lanka, and the thought of leaving your home of the last three years behind. While I read your post, my thoughts echoed those of many of the comments you’ve received and I was tempted to skip down to the last paragraph to see if there was an ending to the suspense. I can only imagine your uncertainty as you thought of your future life ahead and weighed your options carefully. Wishing you much luck in the next chapter and I’m so glad that the road you’ll be traveling on leads to your beloved Vietnam. I think of my time there often and hope to return there someday. Maybe then, our paths will cross! Anita
Thank you Anita for your thoughtful comments. It is always hard to move on when a life chapter has been so very fulfilling as was the case for us personally in Sri Lanka. There are not many places in the world today where one can be awoken by birds and monkeys and surrounded by lush nature. Many lessons in letting go, acceptance and attachment. And yet, move forward we do….
I do hope you will consider visiting us in Viet Nam. That would be wonderful. Much love your way Anita.
xoxo
Wow, wow, wow! What a post. All the highs and lows of a very good story. But it’s not a “story”, it’s your lives! Happy that you are safe, first and foremost, and now on to a new adventure. Looking forward to reading about life in Vietnam. All the best to you both,
Deb
Thank you Deb! Its the story of our lives… ain’t ever boring that’s for sure! Big hug to you.
P
How wonderful. We have a daughter living in Vietnam. Where will you be based?
We hope to be based in Hoi An, where we have lived before. Where does your daughter live?
Peta
What a post! So much turmoil and suspense (how must it have been for you?!) but wrapped in so much love and enjoyment. Very happy that the universe delivered. It and you are truly amazing. Enjoy settling into Vietnam.
I just love how you put that “so much turmoil and suspense, wrapped in so much love and enjoyment”. Spot on!
Thank you!
Thanks for your story of visiting with family. I admire your closeness with the great kids you have.
I am very concerned about what is happening in Sri Lanka and pleased to see how timimg worked in your favor. Sure, those doors are closing for now, but so nice to see the return to bamboo world! Good news!
Gib it is good to hear from you! I absolutely treasure every moment with our kids. Perhaps this IS the silver lining of living far away. I miss them but am so grateful for our relationships with them.
Definitely it is good news returning to the wonderful world of bamboo! No one can beat how awesome bambuseros are to work with. Yourself heading up this group. I do hope we get to see you guys sometime soon…. Come and visit in Viet Nam.
Peta
Love it! Call it universe or call it God, it’s pure grace either way! I know you will still miss your lovely Shagri la, but new adventures await in beautiful Viet Nam. Yay !
Thank you Eileen. I will definitely miss our “Shangri la” ~ yet it reinforces for us the concept of impermanence and of life being ephemeral.
Peta
The contrasts between your adoptive home in Sri Lanka and The US are surreal indeed.Your are blessed to be able to enjoy such comfort in the company of family in Chicago, LA and at Josh’s nature filled paradise in Northern California. I couldn’t imagine your moving back to the mainland US (although I’d be right there with you in San Francisco if I could afford it).
I was totally ready to recommend the Hawaii option …until I heard of Vietnam! The universe delivers again! Meant to be. Cheering with vigor. Almost crying at this wondrous miracle. Congratulations. Welcome home.
PS. Wonderful to see Adam’s business growing.
Lisa, thank you… Definitely grateful for the support and comfort of family and friends (even though not mentioned in the post…)
Would love to experience life in Hawaii, but not on a Sri Lankan budget! Yes to Viet Nam on all fronts! It does feel like a ”wondrous miracle” …Aw thank you for the love and cheering support! Come and visit us in Viet Nam! There must be a good docking place in Danang.
Yes re Adam! Truly fantastic!
Bug hugs and love
xoxo
Thanks so much to both of you, Ben and Peta, for sharing the harsh reality of the current Sri Lanka circumstances, and your family visits as you absorbed the difficulties, tension. Enjoyed seeing so many venues in the U.S. And now off to Vietnam. Sending my best wishes for a peaceful and smooth transition, and a grand adventure ahead.
Jet it took a while to process through everything before we were ready to start writing about it. Thank you for your good wishes.
Peta
I am late in reading this, but so very glad I read all the way through. What a turn of events with numerous highs and lows. So glad you are headed to Vietnam Nan, a place we recently visited and loved. (Cambodia as well.) will get to your other posts soon. But feeling positive about your direction.
Not late at all ~ we just posted this a day ago. Quite the turn of events… reinforcing how unpredictable life can be. Glad to hear you loved Viet Nam…we do too and are excited to go back. Thank you.
Peta
I’m sorry for what happened in Sri Lanka, but I’m glad that you have found a new home and a new purpose (plus had a great time reconnecting with family in Northern California). I look forward to reading about your new adventures!
Thanks Ann ~ we are looking forward to new adventures. Will still return to Sri Lanka , but for now will create a new home base in Viet Nam.
Peta
Peta & Ben, how resilient you both are in making the very best of this very sad situation in Sri Lanka. We could all take a lesson from your patience in determining what is next on your journey.
I have to comment as well on what a beautiful family you have created. In a strange sort of way, it appears the universe also provided you with precious time together during a very stressful time. it is so evident in each & every one of your photos shared, how much love & support for one another shines through.
Wishing you both the very best in your newest adventure!
Lynn thank you, I don’t feel all that resilient right now…I still feel immensely sad and at the situation, especially that the violence in the form of retaliation is continuing. On the one hand I am relieved to not be going back, as the negative energy there would I know be overwhelming. On the other hand I already miss our private little haven in nature! So resiliency is definitely what’s needed.
Thank you for the lovely comment on family. So grateful to have been surrounded by so much love and support at such a challenging time!
Peta
That does sound a tad stressful. Good thing you had family around to help cope, and it sounds as if the universe has been kind. All though for a while there I was wondering if you actually would end up in Portland…
Dave, just a tad! Haha. Family and good friends made all the difference. Also if we had been in country I know it would have been very tense for our families…so am grateful on all fronts.
Portland? Nice city but I’m not sure its diverse enough for us… Anyhow the U.S. is out of the question right now because of the high cost of living ( compared with Asia).
Peta
Hi Peta and Ben, Your post is like a compelling book. I could not put it down. The emotions leap off the page. You have a fit looking Mom, Ben. I love how the family does yoga together. Quality time with your children and parents is priceless. You made me smile equating a Cannabis store with an Apple store. I don’t think this sentence would have appeared 10 years ago. Forest and water does soothe the soul. I look forward to following your plan B and C and D…..:) Erica
Thanks Erica ~ drama aside, it certainly makes for a great story! Ben’s mom will enjoy the compliment! Quality time with the fam could not have come at a better time. Looking forward to plans B,C, and D, myself!
Peta
It is always super interesting to read about Ben and Peta adventures! Thank you for sharing. I know you are enjoying Bali and I am loving the photos I have seen so far! I look forward to the next update!! Love you both ❤️😊 Lois
Hi Lios, glad you are enjoying the adventure. Bali is providing a much needed tranquil time before making the next transition. Ben has already left for meetings and I am still here for a few weeks before we meet up in Viet Nam.
Peta
So many people have already expressed what I was feeling as I read your update. What a rollercoaster ride!!
Being in a safe place of love and affection with family was the best possible location as you struggled through this extremely challenging time. I’m delighted that a wonderful solution presented itself. I was stressed just reading about it – I can’t imagine having lived through it.
Best wishes as your new adventure starts in Viet Nam. You two are amazing!
And Joanne, just so you know…I am NOT a fan of rollercoaster rides! Was definitely unsettling and even now I am feeling rather “homeless”. Mixed feelings about Sri Lanka not being home base anymore…. I already miss our bathroom, the garden, the birds and monkeys and our life there, but on the other hand I know that the negative energy would be overwhelming.
The timing our family visit was fortuitous to say the least. Also, had we been in S.L. at the time, it no doubt would have caused undue stress for our families.
Thanks Joanne!
So heart-warming the way Family rallies round in unsettling times……and such a stark contrast to those who unsettled things. Stay safe on this turn in your road.
Thanks Johnny. Good to hear from you!
xoxo
P
What a saga. And can you believe we too were just in Wicker Park this spring visiting our daughter and son-in-law. Best of luck in Vietnam and thanks for the Chengdu post. It looked so neat we’re going to stop there next year.
Hi Steven and Annie,
Thanks for taking the time to read us and for the good wishes. Oh that is funny that we probably were in Wicker Park at the same time. Chengdu was a great stop. I wish we had had a little more time, we were just getting started… haha.
Peta
Super well written post, as mentioned earlier, a real scroller! Wasn’t Vietnam your second choice home base?
Thanks Aaron!
Wow good memory! Correct!
We had three top choices for home base…Sri Lanka, Viet Nam and Bali.
Very fortuitous.
Peta
how wonderful to take opportunities
for travel, getting away from tragic events
and finding adventure with family in calif and chicago.
i’ve got fond memories of traveling across vietnam.
wishing you happy, safe travels 🙂
Thank you. It was serendipitous actually that we left Sri Lanka one week before the attacks. We had already planned and booked our trip to the U.S. to see our family. The timing could not have been better for us.
Looking forward to our return to Viet Nam.
Peta
Franki J.P.
I have just read your and Ben’s latest empty nest story and oh my gosh, you guys are so formidable!
Firstly, Ben should be writing a book. His way of expressing himself is exceptionally easy to visualise and climb right into his story with interest. He should be using this talent to make money.
You guys have got soooooo much courage to just get up and go on a one way ticket to wherever life takes you and I admire you so. I’m not sure whether I would have the courage to do so myself and it says a lot for your relationship.
Be well both of you. You have weathered these huge sudden changes with such strength & fortitude, always remaining positive and hopeful – you are both quite amazing. I send my love now and always and hope that your next journey is a peaceful and loving one.
Franki, thank you for the compliments!
Your comment about Ben writing a book ~ I have told him the same thing. He says “Yes, he would love to. In my spare time”.. haha. The reality re his work in the defense area is so mind blowing and dramatic that it would be quite the suspense thriller. There is SO much that he cannot write about, at least so long as he wishes to stay active in this field.
With regards to our relationship, I think we manage to balance each other out pretty well, even during stormy weather. The yin and the yang that make up a whole. The interesting thing is we have now weathered enough chaotic cycles and rollercoaster changes together of both countries and professions, that while we may not know the specifics, we do trust that we can make it on the other side. Just the details need to be filled in.
We trust in each others strength, resilience and flexibility ~ just like bamboo!
xoxo
B & P
Oh my gosh. I just finished reading this post chock full of — everything — including adventure, suspense, family, love, politics, and yoga/karma. Of course. Karma won in the end (it always does.) Thank you for sharing your U.S. visit with us – your grown up kids are so loving and lovable and doing what you taught them to do – succeed in what makes them tick. Best of luck with the new venture. Looking forward to your next blog from Viet Nam!
I love how you summed it up… all the elements!! Thanks Pam for the lovely comment re our kids. We did our best to inspire them to follow their hearts and trust that things work out.
In my way to meet Ben in Saigon tonight. Ready for the next adventure!
Peta
I read this a few days ago, and just read it again now—every word—trying to absorb all that you have experienced in the past couple of months. You both seemed to handle the challenges of your lives being turned upside down with grace and acceptance, and instead of railing against the life changes suddenly confronting you, opened yourselves to new possibilities. Still, I know there must have been some very stressful moments.
What a gift to have had such loving, connected times with your beautiful families and to have embraced those precious moments. I found this post incredibly uplifting. Thank you for sharing your journey, including the difficult times. Wishing you peace and ease and joy in this new chapter of your lives!
Laurel, you are right, it is a lot to absorb. But we haven’t had much time to reflect (yet) and it has all been about taking action and moving forward. Once we get to Viet Nam, it will all sink in!
“Uplifting” ~ thank you for such a big compliment. Often the difficult times are the ones which lead us to growth and hopefully role modelling to our sons that in tough times you pick yourself up and carry on as best you can, and hopefully in a positive manner. We have always felt this is one of life’s most valuable lessons.
Thanks for the warm wishes.
Peta & Ben
I’m so glad your period of uncertainty and uneasiness while in the US has a happy ending. It’s very encouraging to know that the people you love are doing well with their jobs and lives, and they must have been so relieved to know that everything works out well in the end for the two of you. Vietnam is one of my favorite countries in the region for so many reasons. The food, oh… all those fresh vegetables! Wishing you the best of luck in your new homebase!
Thank you Bama, we are very happy too that things worked out in a positive and constructive way. We were relieved that we were not in Sri Lanka at the time of the attacks, primarily for the reason that our having been there would have caused a ton of stress for our parents and children.
The funny thing about Viet Nam is that even if we were flush with money, the food alone would have brought us back at some point, as it is our favorite gastronomy on the globe. Ban xeo and mi quang (and oh so much more!!!) await us!!
Thanks for the good wishes!
Peta & Ben
I have been out of touch with the blogging world so this post, although very distressing at the beginning, had me smiling at the end. I am so pleased to hear that such a tragedy, in the end, brought up to an exciting new adventure. So pleased to hear the news! I am praying for everyone in Sri Lanka and also for you two as you begin this journey. Love your family update.
LuAnn you summed it up quite well. We went from “distressed” as in, “now what??” to, “Viet Nam ~ here we come!”. Thank you for the good wishes. Things in Sri Lanka seem to have quietened down thankfully, and now the hope is that tourists start to return to help the economy regain some ground.
Peta & Ben
Gosh, where to start? I’ve been thinking a lot about you both since the attacks in Sri Lanka and communicated briefly with Peta over Instagram. Wonderful to be reading now what has transpired for you since then. You are so blessed with such lovely families! Wonderful that you enjoyed great, quality time with everyone. I can’t believe you were in Grass Valley! Next time, please come to Lake Tahoe and see us. Our house is your house, with a great lake view and a little private beach. Most importantly, congratulations on the next chapter you’re beginning together. I love and relate so much to your comment about not operating from a place of fear. Faith, intelligence, resourcefulness, and a little bit of luck and good karma, can get you very far in life — especially when you need it most. Can’t wait to read about your upcoming adventures in Vietnam. Enjoy every minute and keep writing! Love your stories and enduring gratitude. xo, Kelly
Kelly, it is good to hear from you… and we look forward to catching up with your blog! Neither of us has ever been to Lake Tahoe and so next time we visit Josh in Grass Valley, we would love to come and meet you and take you up on the offer. Sounds like a gorgeous location and I know that Josh and Ana enjoy going to Lake Tahoe when they can.
Thank you for acknowledging the “not operating from a place of fear”.. that is a really core concept for us both. Your feedback is just so nice to read. Thanks for your words of encouragement and support.
Peta
What a read!! Such wonderful writing and thrilling to follow – the ups and downs and uncertainties…, questions and finally clarity and new opportunities…
So great you had all that wonderful quality family time!!
In a way I found myself really sorry that your time in Sri Lanka had come to an end for now, partly for my own selfish reasons LOL, because I hadn’t yet got to visit you there and a trip to include that magnificent part of the world has been in my ‘plans’.. But of course mostly for you guys and for Sri Lanka in general. The devastation and shock and horror the country and everyone there went through, is very gut wrenching indeed. A lot to deal with!!
And you have both certainly made and been served lemon aid out of this situation.
I wish you all the best for the next leg of your journey, your new job, Ben, and your new upcoming home in Vietnam. All sounds so perfect for you guys, right up your alley…
Continuing to go with the flow, bending in the stormy ever changing winds, accepting and loving what is, without breaking, focusing on the here and now is such a gift!! With that kind of energy, the universe will certainly always deliver!!
Beautiful!!
And I have read your next blog too, from Bali.
Wow, such restorative time in Bali, just so perfect… Wonderful you both had that time and that last stay, Peta, was the cherry on top… The beauty and aesthetics of Bali and the Ubud surroundings are always so uplifting and peaceful to behold. Wonderful interlude before starting your next adventure!
Much Love xxx
Stan
Stan, thank you so much for this beautiful response to our blog posts and to our evolving adventures.
We are not “giving up” Sri Lanka, nor the house. So yes, we are not currently home based there and you know how much I would love to have you visit. However, you can certainly definitely use our home (it is currently available in July and Sept. and Oct). It awaits you. We are still keeping the house for home exchanges as we have people coming in August and again in December and January.
Alternatively we would be delighted if you were to come and visit us in Viet Nam as well. Maybe a trip to both is in the works for you….
So much love your way Stan
xoxo
Peta
I’ve been thinking of you since the terrible events in Sri Lanka, wondering how you’d adapt, what changes might be necessary, and so on. It’s wonderful the way things have worked out, and especially good that you have such a large family to support you through the ups and downs of a decision-making process. As someone whose family has dwindled down to a very precious few, I always feel a little twinge of something when I read such stories. It’s not envy, precisely, but a sense of loss — a sense that helps me appreciate what people in chaotic areas of the world might feel when they confront the senseless and sudden loss of their families.
I had to smile at the mention of bamboo. I’ve stayed twice in a restored railroad bunkhouse in Kansas that’s only a few feet from a primary freight line. Both times, I’ve seen car after car in long freight trains pass by with the word ‘BAMBOO’ emblazoned on the side. I had no idea anyone was shipping bamboo across the country, but clearly they are. Where it came from or where it was going, I can’t say.
Now, I’m off to your more recent post to see how things are shaking out!
Thank you for your kind words and thoughtful comments. To your observations about the sense of loss, this is one of the aspects of the most recent terrorist strike in Sri Lanka, which is so hard to stomach. After a twenty nine year civil war, when everyone experienced loss of some degree, and then the more recent tsunami, that also had devastating impact on the Southern coast, it is just so hard to understand why any Sri Lankan would take any action to keep adding to the death toll. And to some extent, it helps explain the sense of fury and desire for revenge that Buddhists have released against the Muslim community. And yet, we know, from history, that it is a vicious cycle whereby violence begets loss, begets more violence, begets more loss and it never ends.
Ben
Wow! What a story, Ben and Peta. During the attacks, James and I were constantly talking about you two, hoping that your situation was safe. We know how much you love Sri Lanka – as do we – and wondered what was the way forward. We can relate in part because we were living and working in Khartoum, Sudan during the 1986 coup that ousted Nimiery and implemented military rule. We also had to leave.
So glad to hear that things worked out to base yourselves in Vietnam. That’s fantastic!
All the best, Terri
Thanks Terri for thinking of us. Wow Khartoum in 1986 that’s an adventure!
It is still hard for us to reconcile that we are not living in Sri Lanka anymore and in fact our house still has our stuff (paintings, clothes, albums, books) in it and at some point we will have to go there and make a decision as to how long to keep that going there. But not worrying about it for now.
In the meantime, thrilled to be back in Hoi An, for sure.
Peta
Wow and wow
Yup….!
Your account read like a real life thriller, but how stressful for the two of you! The worrying and planning must have taken energy away from the good times with your family, but on the other hand, how wonderful to have loving family support as you considered your options.
Changing your home from Sri Lanka to Vietnam, while also Ben changes his work focus from the aerospace and defence industry to luxury bamboo homes is a big switch. Your worldwide travels and network is also a safety net…
All the best with the transition,
Jude
Jude, looking back now, this period did have its moments of stress, but as both of us are non panic prone, and both tend to believe that things will somehow work out, the stress was manageable. It did not take away any good times with family.
Happy to report that the transition has been pretty smooth and living in Viet Nam after Sri Lanka, feels a bit like Shangri La.
Peta