Empty Nesters on a Green Global Trek

After 6 years of living in Nicaragua and 20 months as global nomads (in Asia and Europe), we are about to kick off yet another phase in our Green Global Trek:

We return to Chicago for a while (6 months? 2 years?) for family time and to replenish our coffers, so that we may go back on the road and continue our travels and nomadic lifestyle.

We will fully commit to a slice of life in Chicago and organize our lives here so that we experience the Windy City to the fullest.

It is therefore apt for us to pause… and reflect on some key themes that have emerged as a result of our nomadic empty nester lifestyle:

1. “WHERE are you now?” 

When it comes to parenting, neither Ben, nor I have ever been the hovering, anxious types of parents. We have always encouraged our kids to be independent from a very young age, to listen to their own inner voice and to follow their passion in life. By living our own lives to the full and going for and doing what we love to do, we are role modeling for our sons that we “practice what we preach.”

We have to laugh at the role reversal which happens when we speak on skype or by phone to our sons, and the first thing they ask is “WHERE are you?” (Much like how WE used to ask them that, when they were in High School.)

2. On living sequentially… Change and routine

How we both love the flexibility and spontaneity of deciding how long we want to live in and stay in a place or a country!

There is never enough time and we can never do everything we want to do.

With this in mind, we have learned to balance discovery of all our new destinations have to offer, with the continuation of our daily life and what is important to us…

We find a food market with fresh fruit and veg, a place where we can enjoy our breakfast and newspaper, a good place to work that has fast internet, nearby parks, river or beaches for an infusion of nature, yoga and meditation.

It is less of a routine than it is a bouquet of colorful experiences that remain constant in our ever changing nomadic lives.

Change, of course, is inherent in our chosen nomadic lifestyle. Luckily we both thrive on and love change. Change brings growth and discovery and is the antithesis to boredom.

3. Feeling at home

I am amazed at how at home we both feel in so many different countries.

It’s a great realization to know we can live in so many very different places and cultures so easily. (So little time, so many countries…..) Home for us is much more of a FEELING, than any one place.

We often get asked “Where do you live?” by people we meet along the way, and we now simply say, “We live here!” no matter where we are, because that is how it feels. We are not tourists, we are not visitors, we are living sequentially in different countries.

One drawback for us is not having cats and dogs living with us ~ something we both highly value and enjoy. We meet many animals along the way and they do enrich our travels and lives, and hopefully we enrich theirs as well, even if briefly.

4. Impermanence

The Buddhist notion that all of existence, is transient, or in a constant state of flux. Plans change, lives change, places change. Indeed, our nomadic plans keep changing and evolving.

If we see a really low air fare, we might hop on a plane spontaneously to a country we never initially thought of visiting. (For example, this happened with Sri Lanka, which was a stop on our ticket from Bangkok to Kerala, India and we spent three amazing weeks living there …).   Sometimes a last minute home exchange might come our way which looks particularly appealing and so, we go for that.

It is interesting that as we both gravitate philosophically towards Buddhism and appreciate intellectually the concept of impermanence. Our lives have become in fact fundamentally illustrative of impermanence.

We sometimes get asked “Are you going there permanently?” ~ although by now, this question is not asked by people who know us well. We just don’t view things from a “permanent” perspective.

5. Choosing experiences over possessions

I have a very good friend in Chicago with whom I always have a good laugh with because of our different priorities in life. She has always preferred to spend money on a couch or art, whereas I have always preferred to use money for travel and adventures. Being nomadic means we cannot accumulate, nor do we have a desire to.

There is something very freeing about having very few possessions and living lighter. Less to worry about, less to carry, less weight…. (Of course when we arrived in Europe for the winter months, after 12 months in the tropical heat of Asia, we had to acquire some warm clothing! )

Living out of a suitcase does get old after a while… But, it IS worth it, as we often remind ourselves. We think of our bags as our portable closets and they carry the sum total of what we own. It’s repacking the closet each time that gets a bit tedious.. So the less there is to pack, the less hassle this entails. It also reinforces the lesson of attachment to “stuff”.

6. Huge learning curve and comfort zones

We both have insatiable appetites for new countries and cultures. An addiction to novelty and the rush that comes with the high learning curve.

The more different, the less known, the larger the intellectual learning curve and the more fun! It is very satisfying to both of us to come to recognize, so often, that we have acquired knowledge and insight about a country we knew little about before our travels.

Some people enjoy places because they are familiar and build on an established comfort level. We both enjoy places that push the boundaries of our current experience.

Some places we have travelled to are even more marvelously exotic than we ever imagined. Pushkar in India during the time of the annual camel fair is a very good example of a place that transported us to a different universe.  Pushkar  is as exotic as it gets ~ when it swells for the annual camel fair, welcoming to the small holy city on the edge of the Rajasthan desert, a rich tapestry of tribal people and religious practitioners and holy men.

The more we are out of our “comfort zone”, the more intellectually and experientially enriched we both feel. Different cultures, different religions and different languages are the stuff we both thrive on.

7. Of healthy mind AND body

We are quick to look for local fruits and vegetables within our new environment, which we know will sustain us and balance out the less healthy but novel and yummy food options which might come our way.

For example…. finding vendors selling cactus fruit on the street in Morocco and discovering how super nutritious that fruit is, and returning for it almost daily. Other examples which come to mind…fresh pomegranate juice on the streets of Istanbul, sprouts at the market in Tel Aviv, wheatgrass in a tiny storefront in Bangkok, green juices in Delhi.

In Asia, we had at least 2-3 massages a week. Foot reflexology, Thai massage, healing massage, all of which are low cost and definitely enhance quality of life. Add to that some unusual deep ear cleaning in Viet Nam!

We look for yoga classes and are often rewarded such as those we attended in Ubud, Bali and Chiang Mai, Thailand. Other times the classes are not very inspiring or too expensive and so we do yoga wherever we go, incorporating both yoga and meditation into our daily lives. “If there is a wall, there is a stretch…”

We do not have health insurance and have not needed it. On occasion when either of us has been ill we have always found good healers, doctors or remedies. (Chinese holistic medicine being our preferred choice.)

We have had no complaints with medical assistance we have received along the way, as needed and have been fortunate to not need it often. (Thus the incorporation of yoga, healthy food, low stress as a lifestyle definitely pays off…).  When medical intervention has been necessary, we have invariably found perfectly good practioners and always at affordable prices.

8. The BUBBLE

This is the protective sheath around our relationship which preserves our own voices and decisions. Being nomadic has strengthened our ability to float from adventure to adventure, from country to country, pretty seamlessly.

9. It costs less than you think

Many people think that you need to have a lot of money to travel for long periods of time. This really is not necessarily so.

In Europe, clearly the most expensive phase of our travels, we managed on about 50 euros a day, for two of us. We managed this primarily by using home exchange and so had very little cost associated with accommodations. On the other side of the scale was Asia, which was extremely cheap and decent lodging could be had for under $20 a night, at most.

Street food and markets for picnics  allow us to keep our expenses down.

We buy one way tickets! It’s way more fun, as it doesn’t lock us into a schedule or return date, leaving things open for our adventure to unfold. We are always moving forward, influenced by the latest whim, tempered by low cost airline tickets.

10. It’s the small things

We really have an added appreciation for the “small things” while traveling ~ Basic stuff like having lots of hot water, good wifi, comfy beds.

Added features are also appreciated, such as a terrific view (in Granada, Spain we had a patio which had a direct view of the Alhambra castle), a good location (being in the middle of a rice paddy in Ubud Bali ~ having temples with Buddhist novices as neighbors in Luang Prabang, Laos.)

For Ben, the “small, but important things” include having a steady flow of newspapers in English French or Spanish.  Getting CNN online is hardly the thrill of a good local newspaper that provides local flavor, in a language that he knows.

And so… we get to take a pause from the nomadic lifestyle, by being “still” and in one place for a while. As much as we both love the adventure, we are very happy to be surrounded by fabulous friends and family and get the benefits which come with a “pause.”

Actually unpacking and putting away our suitcases for a while will be pretty novel.